pheromone causeway

to a Juliet birthday

I will swill poison

just to kill you for a day

raven black, this attack

doldrums hit me

landlocked

clock on the wall

is mocking

it was a present from your father

antique and complicated

just like us

I navigate a back way to

bus stop and wait for a ride

I’m running on a carousel

I am unable to define this time

you told me one of my issues:

I must always have a name for things

guess you win because I do not know

what to call this place I find myself in

I have no paradigm upon which to stand

missing you though I don’t believe in miracles

they’re in children’s books and cosplay porn

I’ve never eaten of the fruit

I listen to Candace on my Ipod

while people around me chit and chat

I lose myself in thoughts of yesterday

mesmerized by finality of

dirty goodbyes

wonder why I fucking fall apart

after every crime of the heart

and it’s me and it’s you

how does this all end and when

I tire of carrying your misery

although I love it too

it’s raven black, you’re not

coming back and I must confess, grief.

Now I have to convince myself,

just a little short on belief

I smoke another cigarette

hoping to get just

a little closer

to heaven(?)

and see if you’ve been

waiting.

think I’ll call this shit

raven black.

you’re right,

I do need to name it

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